Email: me at alancrawford dot com dot au
Mail: PO Box 9008
Star City, Sharpston,
Alan Crawford has the temperament of a young fawn grazing in the savanna. Soft to touch, but on a knife’s edge while expecting prey to pounce. He hopes to provide his services while being alert, on peak, on time and on side while being happy to serve. If you seek an employee to meld into your work culture you’ll find him able to change into what ever you need. He has goals and would like to achieve them.
Mumbles Voice Over Studio — March 2018 – Present
Alan is serving as the studio talent coordinator / assistant. Duties include retrieving refreshments, food, substances (solid and liquid) both legal and illegal to all that required such things. His greatest achievement to date has been to clean and restore the studio to its former glory after the famous collaboration recording of the famous Christmas song, “Fuck off, it’s Christmas”.
The attendees made such a mess that has taken Alan three weeks to clean and disinfect the studio, reception, the photocopier and the bathrooms. Mumbles provided Alan with an award for his dedication.
Ralph’s Auto Shop – 1977 – March 2018
Note to potential employer. Alan left school with an enthusiastic willingness to succeed in business and secured a position in Ralph’s Auto Shop following a two year break after leaving school. The social workers were pleased to recommend him to Ralph and pleased that they did. Alan had been building confidence and a view of the world that high school failed to achieve.
His case worker suggested Ralph’s has he supported prison reform although he wasn’t renown for complying with wage and compensation obligations, he treated his charges reasonably well. Well enough for the Social Services Department at least.
Crisis High School – 1971 – 1975
Note to potential employer. Alan did not suit formalised education. His passion was for drumming on desks. He would be rewarded for passing critical milestones, exams, attendance, personal grooming standards etc. with vouchers for Star City Music and he gathered quite a supply of drums, bongo, kits, and various percussion instruments. His education qualifications should be considered irrelevant.
Note to potential employer. I have created this resume to assist Alan Crawford in pursuing his dream of music production, software design and AI. I will however tell you that he has no computer skills, coding or otherwise. Indeed he asked me to create this resume because has no computer and would struggle to read it let alone write it on it.
His passion for music is legendary and his willingness to please, although sometimes worrisome, is also to be commended. He has not been diagnosed with any known medical conditions that might cause his afflictions but he may well be described as meeting many, if not all, such conditions.
Please do not hesitate to contact me directly if you would like to discuss issues or concerns raised in this resume. I do recommend Alan to you but please understand his next employer should be able to develop his unique set of skills and benefit from them.
29 December 2020