Son of a father
A father and son. Is the son destined to become the father? Everything in life seemed to be more frustrating than usual lately. A list of things designed it seemed to frustrate the calmest of souls. Ron wasn’t one of them. His dreams had been shattered, hopes ignored and he swam just below the surface, head down in most situations. Only getting up for breath when it was really needed.
Ronald become Ron when he reached the age of 18, prior to that he was Ronald Mark Edwards. On reaching 18 he dropped the “ald” and the Mark. While managing to survive the emerging drug scene, he got caught up in the heavy drinking scene. In later years he managed to avoid the impact of such excess. He was falling apart physically, but that was another story.
Years of widely addictive behaviours had taken their toll, Not overly dangerous activities, although it was close. He managed to avoid serious drug use, probably overdid reactionary prescription medicine. Ron was not able to handle pain, no matter how small or for how short a time.
He had drunk far too much in different places and social environments and only over the last 10 odd years drastically reduced the intact to almost nothing. Another lucky escape from the impact of such abuse.
Serious and/or recreational exercise had left his repertoire in his teens and early twenties, it was loads of surfing, basketball, squash and when even younger, years of rugby union. Of course he loved it all but he found girls, music, bands and what goes on at night to be far more interesting and fulfilling. His body just seemed to exist until now when it is deteriorating quicker that a used car salesman’s hand shake.
He’d joined a local Gym, and prior to the pandemic turned up with his shrinking flesh and undue pride for 3 days a week. The pandemic hit, so it became no days a week. He had met some nice people in the gym, some odd and some very odd people, but that’s what life is about of course, navigating through the odd while claiming to not be odd yourself.
In some way Ron had reconnected with his father. Father and son again. The man occupied habits that were unable to be fully explained or outlined in any description that Ron could provide. Often clues were released, some little tit bits of the man’s behaviour but he had to conceal the majority of the impressions his father provided. His father was very demanding, an ugly man who managed to attack those he dealt with. He’d shoot a vicious response to just about any interaction.
If you questioned, or disagreed, you were belittled, dismissed and if your lucky completely ignored. Any number of swear words could be applied in describing his demeanour, but it all came down to his unpleasant personality.
What to do
This reconnection was driven by Ron’s father without any real discussion or consideration given to Ron’s feelings or wishes. Ron thought in that offering some basic decency it would progress with some level of civility. Indeed it did. It did for a while.
What can you do? Can you ignore a father? Ron was debating these big picture father and son relationship issues and every time he fell back into just working thought the drama, offering minimal blow back. His new favourite word was “Sure”. He offered that vague response to just about everything thrown at him.
Could writing it down and asking Alan to post it on www.alancrawford.com.au help or make it worse. Either way Alan might help lighten the load. He had his own family dramas and he could listen when he puts his mind to it.