A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. See menu for the main Short Stories.


Jasper is a rabbit

Reading Time: 2 minutesIt’s a marvellous thing this thing. What is the thing that’s such a mystery and so sparklingly marvellous ? It’s the intangible, completely out of reach mind of the slightly verbose idiot who’s typing this drivel into his lovely iMac. You’d might wonder why I even try to describe the idiocy or the fog that dominates my mind. Well, I’m not going to. I’m going off into another weird tack and changing as the wind changes.

Look out the wind’s changed … there was a little brown and white bunny called Jasper. He sat most days just nibbling what ever was close enough to nibble inside his little rabbit run. His friend Herbert just sat doing the same. The run was moved about the backyard with such regularity Jasper knew which part of the yard he’d be pooping on next, and as a consequence which pooped on grass he’d be nibbling.

Herbert had only recently arrived in the run and he was a bit nervous. Jasper had tried to make him feel welcome but that act of kindness had no reproductive value and really it wasn’t Herbert’s idea of a good thing. Jasper on the other hand thought any of that welcoming obligation – was. He applied it to anything that came near him.

Bee loved her rabbits, she secretly loved Jasper the best and was very pleased when her uncle Peter came over and gave her another rabbit. She called it Herbert because that was the name of the smelly old man who delivered the newspaper every morning, he was nice but he did smell and Herbert smelt just the same. Bee’s uncle did as well sometimes, but when bee’s Daddy did, he only did for a very short time.

Bee’s Mummy never smelt bad, she was a fresh, warm and lovely young Mummy and didn’t join Daddy or uncle Peter in the shed when they hid in there on some weekends. They even had that smelly old Herbert in there sometimes. Bee didn’t know what they did in there but she did know they smelt bad when they came out. Bee loved to talk to Jasper and Herbert and loved to pat them when they stood still.

Jasper had scratched Bee’s arm once and it bled, so Mummy didn’t allow her to hold them any more. that was ok, she thought, patting them while they’re in the run is good enough, they feel very soft and cuddly.

The rabbits didn’t mind either, Bee was kind to them and she gave them food, better than the crapped on grass they were forced to sit above. The run had a hidey hole and they often raced in there, especially when Mutts the family dog decided to taunt them.

Mutts was not really all that aggressive, he just made some huge grunting noises while he sniffed and slobbered all over them. Both Jasper and Herbert hated that part the worst, they had to do some serious self cleansing after that bath. Mutts only liked to check them out each time they were plonked in a new place.

So I’m leaving it over to you dear reader, how about an answer request. What were the nice Daddy, uncle Peter and that smelly old Herbert up to in that shed. Why did they not invite Mummy ?

Sadly whomever does provide the best answer won’t win a prize, but you will have the satisfaction of doing so. Off you go, what’s that smell and why are they in a shed on the weekends.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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