A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. See menu for the main Short Stories.


The Affair

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Linda wasn’t lazy, she’d rehearsed and set her whole routine around reaching the peak performance required. Linda was going to murder her sister and have the Police blame her husband. Linda has seen a few films to learn the how, the when and her response to the murder. The latest being Gone Girl. She’d even gone back way before her generation, whatever that letter was and watched Dial M for Murder. Her husbands addiction to cable TV really came into its own when research was required. All because of the affair.

Some dreadful crimes almost sensationalised in documentaries and podcasts. All of this digital mainline of inspiration was via a remote in her bedroom. She’d often hide in there catching screen time while her husband Rob was elsewhere. He often was, he was ramping the banana of sexual affairs with Linda’s sister. They bumped bits so often that most of The Birds a local junior football club knew when and were their liaisons were scheduled. Luckily their kids were oblivious to this rambunctious mating habits. 

Linda and Rob had two boys

They played rugby union for The Birds while Anne, Linda’s sister was mother to one girl who also played for The Birds. The sideline support screaming and running up and down is what lead the passion of parental support to wild sexual release. Not with Linda of course, Rob had long forgotten the love and desire he had for her. He’d transferred these feelings into the younger, fitter, blonder, obviously better endowed version which was Anne.

Anne was unaware of Rob’s almost scripted fantasy until quite suddenly during terribly close rugby game. He whispered into her ear that he wanted to have her as he described a short scenario that starred them both. Anne was horrified for a moment, reluctant for another moment and then turned on like a remote mouse racing across a tiled kitchen floor. She got more and more excited when she started to visualise the scene and the roles they were to play.

Rob dropped the boys off as pre planned with Linda and Anne did the same as was her plan. They arrived at the Mulberry Hotel and hoodwinked the concierge / desk clerk and met at the room they were to enjoy. Rob and Linda didn’t really notice the room, the view, the entertainment systems or the decor. They took clothes off in a rage like the movies like to portray. They slobbered, sucked and kissed each for some time before getting a brutal thrusting up to speed. The intensity of this coupling was something they’d remember for the rest of their lives. Short life in Anne’s case. The concierge had called Linda.

Mark fancied Linda

He had revealed details of his crush to Linda a number of times. Linda had been gentle in letting him down and nudging him away, twice now. The arrival and obvious sexual tension between Rob and Anne didn’t fool anyone and certainly not Mark, he was going to tell Linda. He thought she might leave Rob and fulfil his dreams, especially as they’ve now arrived at the hotel. She wouldn’t of course. From the description Mark gave her it was very clear that the she, was Anne. The silly names they provided revealed much of the disguise as they were her parents names, but the cleavage, top and handbag were like flags of identity, they gave everything away.

Many weeks later after the rehearsed routine was clear in Linda’s mind, she was very ready and waited.

Anne had finished rogering Rob within an inch of life and was rinsing her self and her extra bits in the ensuite. Rob had come and gone. He didn’t hang about as the double entendre often presented. So when he’d finished presenting, he farted and departed. Linda was waiting outside for the love making to finish. She watched Rob drive off and realised she only had ten minutes. The time of death in this weather is accurate within a =/- 20 minute window. Time to get in, do the deed, clean up and get ready for the performance of her life. 

All this was dependant on the neighbours not seeing her arrival, her wait and her entry. The presence of her prints and other DNA throughout the house is easily explained, being as Anne was her sister and she’d visited many times. Rob had as well but the DNA evidence Linda sought could not be explained by brother in/law with kids family visits. They would most obviously relate to sex.

The sex could also be confirmed to have been there and then, not a case of a planted condom. Linda has seen that in many a TV show, DNA items transported and left at a scene. Cigarette butts, condoms, hair, even blood. Great TV offers the best research. Linda was in and heard Anne flushing herself in the ensuite. 

Anne looked up from her contortionist positioning and saw Linda walking in. She nearly fell over in shock and surprise.

“Fuck Linda you frightened the shit out of me” 

“What are you doing here?”

Linda said nothing

She drove the bedside table light into Anne head with such a force that the faux brass fitting broke in three places. It turned out later during the investigation that one piece could not be found. Linda hit Anne again even harder, just to make sure she was dead. She was. Most of her head was pushed into the cavity that would have held her brain if not for the fact that is was sitting by itself on the ensuite floor hanging on to the cords that normally provided connection. 

Linda set the scene. Ensured the condom was still in the bedside rubbish bin and that the KY Jelly remained were it had been set down. She wiped down the light fitting with some mens rubber gloves, extra large size and wiped a few tissues about the scene as if they were used to clean up. They weren’t of course. Linda gathered herself, check herself for blood and bits and ready herself for the next part of the scene. 

Rob had arrived home and was surprised that Linda wasn’t there but read the note she’d left in the kitchen. She’d gone to the chemist and was then going to Anne’s place. 

“What the fuck” thought Rob … “Did she see us?”

Robb rang Anne but there wasn’t an answer. “Fuck” He then rang Linda. She didn’t answer as quickly as normal and Rob panicked.

“Yes Robb” … Linda was sitting in the living room talking on Anne’s landline. 

“What’s happening, did you get my note?”

“Ah, yes, I just wondered when you’re coming home?”

“Oh no problem, I’m just going to talk with Anne about the family BBQ and I’ll be straight home.”

“Alright I’ll see you soon .. Rob muttered with a sense of relief he wouldn’t enjoy for long.

The Police arrived at Anne’s 10 minutes after she called. Her performance and scene setting was spectacular, her discovery of Anne, the screams she let out, woke the dead and the neighbours of course, the tumbled / slip into the blood poetic and her admitting to the use of the phone delicious for its part in setting up a search for previous landline calls.

Detective Miller was very caring

He was professional and appeared to be taking everything in as he should. He organised a Police car to drive Linda home. They did and she explained the situation to Rob. As expected he was mortified. He’d only just left there, how could this have happened? He didn’t tell Linda the he was just there of course. He had to come up with an alibi for the Police. Linda realised this in advance and knew how easy to would be to discredit once it was known.

Miller ran the investigation like all others, buy the book and interviewed everyone. It made the news and the news made it to Mark the Concierge. He offered his two cents worth of course which Linda actually through was lovely although she still had to deflect his advances. His almost “I seek a reward” advances.  The alibi was the local hardware super store, but being so poorly thought out he was not on any cctv and that was crushed almost immediately. He floundered and the family had to pay for legal defence. 

The Police suspected that Rob had committed the murder, just as Linda had planned and hoped. They charged him with Anne’s murder. It was a reasonably quick trial, no witness other than the persistent Mark. The case really swung on the DNA evidence, the time frame, namely the lack of an alibi and the affair. What really pushed out the guilty verdict was the missing piece of the light fitting, the tissues and gloves. Somehow their presence in Robb’s car couldn’t be explained away. 

Linda sat back in the lounge and explained the situation to the boys. They were very upset about the whole thing. Their father and their aunt dead. Mark was also very upset. He’d have to confront Linda and if rejected again, smash her fucking head in.

Linda sold up, took the boys and moved away as far as the country provided. She settled down to a new life and only rarely thought of Anne. Robb she didn’t think about or care about at all. She’d cut all communication between him and the boys. What she didn’t realise was that Mark had a new job and followed her. He had some retribution of his own planned. 

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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