A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. See menu for the main Short Stories.


Michael is a Muslim

Reading Time: 3 minutesBy what criteria? How does the end justify the means? How does an action reflect, cause or repeat the action before it? What’s the point of any of this? Michael sat in a Police holding cell and wondered about the who, why and what of his current circumstances. His wrists and head hurt. Michael is a Muslim.

Michal was lounging about in his underwear minding his own business and watching TV when the Police burst in. They broke down each of the all ready open doors, setting off some flash explosive things and yelling. He wondered why they had to yell so much, Michael was already on the ground splayed out like a spatchcock on a grill. Offering no resistance other than the gentle nervous fart he had no control over.

The Police meanwhile took no risks, they yelled “hut – hut” it around the house, garden, garage and the dogs kennels at the back of the yard. They screamed and pointed their fabulously efficient weapons about and seemed well chuffed when they finally found Michael.

He was bored with waiting and had begun calling out. “STAY WERE YOU ARE” – a less than intelligent fun stopper screamed. Yes, OK, said Michael as he was handcuffed with those zip tie thingy.

The Police scooped

He’d been forced into their vehicle, naked bar his Homer Simpson boxers. The fly had opened by itself with Michael’s dick now replaced Homers face on the front graphic. No one seemed to notice or care just how graphic it was.

Mary was at work while all this law enforcement was being applied. She’d called a Government hotline that morning and stated boldly that she “knew” Michael was a terrorist, but she wasn’t sure where he had grown. Mary had no doubt, in fact she was so sure she was right she told everyone at work, both colleagues and customers that she’d discovered her neighbour was a terrorist.

She’d seen guns, intercepted mail and witnessed large numbers of odd bearded men coming and going into his home at all hours. Mary rang the hotline this morning when she saw a box of automatic weapons being handled in the though Michael’s open front door.

It was her duty to call. He was a Muslim after all.

Michael was a Muslim

Michael was also married with three children and lived a quiet and respectful life, trying to provide for his three girls and his bride. He’d taken on some odd jobs to augment the wages offered from his accountancy job at ITP. Michael had begun applying his tailoring skills to those that sought out the old fashion style his grandfather had insisted he learnt.

In fact he was making more money tailoring than counting but it all helped and the mortgage was going down as his savings started to go up. Luckily his wife Allison was shopping with the girls and when they arrived home thought Michael had been kidnapped. Allison called the Police.

Mary’s appointment was scheduled for 13.30 and she’d extend her lunch to allow for the grilling and empathy she’d be due. With her laundry list of medical conditions, she was a career defining thesis in the making. In fact it was being considered by her Doctor.

Is Michael a terrorist

Mary imagined that Michael was a terrorist, the whole thing. No guns, no mail, no idea. What she did see and hear was normal life, friends and clients calling in for fittings and collection of their new suits. Mary had been swayed by right wing, conspiratorial folks who now populated and polluted today’s social media and politics.

Ignorance, hatred, suspicion, stem from the simplification of complex matters into short nonsensical three word slogans and jingoistic crap. Nonsense that sounded good when screamed at the audience from under a flag on a soap box. These screamers offer no solutions or answers to these complex issues, they just spin the fan and let the shit stick were it could.

Mary was hospitalised again. The hotline team learn’t a lesson in prioritising calls and allocating an appropriate Police reaction. Michael and his family were offered an apology and provided with compensation covering the destruction brought upon their house.

Michael is still a Muslim, he still creates amazing suits and can work magic on your taxes.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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