A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

Answers to the FAQ

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Alan Crawford tries to answer the questions often posed and there might be more to come?

As displayed proudly in my author box I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants and observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short, and slightly longer stories for adults.

And from my What About Me page: I was born in a mild, caring, newly air-conditioned room at St Leonards – in the Royal North Shore Hospital. I was brought home to a small unit (not Apartment 2204) with my newly burped face and bum. I was born a boy and remain so to this day. Many years later I left school under a cloud of drama and exasperation and started work. It was very smelly being an apprentice butcher and I’ve been lucky to enjoy many careers since, sales, music, driving, media, talking, listening, and yelling, all sorts of things.

I was drawn to blogging after having both legs removed after an unfortunate skydiving accident. Not only didn’t the chutes open, I bounced for two miles down a lonely country road and ended up lodged into a wasp nest up in a tree. The bites actually brought me back to life and to this day I pay homage to those little bitty things. My legs have been replaced and aside from the odd squeak, I get about fine.

I have managed to resurrect some of the older more random posts and rearranged some others. Now of course while each short story may reside in unpleasant situations, each of the tasty morsels including the rants, lists and observations are aimed at a mature audience. Sadly they appear rather immature at times.

Despite warnings and common sense, I may write some more. For example, as I’m now a retired gent, I’ve lot’s of thinking to do and even though I can’t type or spell, I’ve more writing to do. Basically I love tinkering about, new stories, new themes and various hurdles along the way. Lot's of things causing me stress along the way of course.

The first thought is no, but you are aren't you 🙂

Yes! ... I’ll keep going, some ranting, some laughing, indeed a change of theme and the ongoing tinkering will continue. In fact due to some mysterious technical interruptions and skullduggery, I’ve had to move the happybelly.au content here and I’ll try to add to it from time to time.

An environmental health officer, also referred to as an environmental health practitioner or public health inspector, is a person responsible for carrying out measures to protect public health, which includes the administration and enforcement of legislation related to environmental health and safety hazards - Thanks to Wikipedia  My version: Environmental Health Officer (EHO) is the current name for what used to be known as a health inspector. Of course, I could rattle through the complete and professional description, but hey, we control, reduce, remove and even penalise the impact of humans on each other and the environment. The exciting thing maybe the anticipation for all parties, what is an EHO inspection? and how will I survive such a thing. You might like to check out The Tale of an EHO.

The story is somewhat true, here's a sample from The Old Woman is Drunk:

This lizard lady was quite racist, homophobic, xenophobic and just plain backward in her thinking. That backward in fact she thought that winning on the pokies would change her life. She wanted to change, although she was blissfully unaware of the really important bits of her twisted existence that should be changed.

She didn’t even get up from the winning streak on the pokies to go to the ladies, she just wet herself in the seat rather than leave the machine. The staff had to deal with this DNA deposit after she’d gone, every bloody day.

If you have any questions or general feedback, please let me know and I’ll do my darnedest to reply ASAP.

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Here’s some links to satisfy the infernal SEO requirements 🙂 What about meCausing me StressThe Old Woman is DrunkHomeThe Tale of an EHOWikipedia

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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