A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. See menu for the main Short Stories.


The tale of the Thing that Happened

Reading Time: 3 minutesThe tale of the thing that happened, indeed an incredible thing had happened. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. The thing that happened watched from its fourth eye on the left side. It was the one on the end of the slippery blueish stork that popped out when it thought that danger was afoot. Although it had no feet, it had a propulsion system built upon millions of years of what the Earth’s main occupants called Evolution. These occupants were on their last days, but they had no idea. The human race had been run. Humans won.

They destroyed just about everything on the planet, the planet they called Earth. It was called Noshtfixher by the rest of the Galaxy and if something had survived it didn’t have long to go. The flora, fauna, the air, the water, the ground itself was in dire straights and groaned loudly at the virus-like excess of the human’s activity. The never-ending search for space, comfort, one-upmanship, sex, food, and pride. All of these things resulted in a smaller and smaller world for the humans to live in. They were two and half days away from having nothing at all.

The thing that happened

It was like that movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still” and like the premise of the film, humans ignored and denied the very problem the alien called Klaatu had delivered. That was fiction, this now today was fact. The thing that happened was sent to ensure the planet was wiped of all upon it and returned to a bare clean slate. This wasn’t the first time this had happened though. Some unknown millions of years before, the thing that happened had arrived, engaged to clear the planet of all its inhabitants.

Back then they were a very different type of life but in their own water-based way had filled the body of water that covered the planet with that much life and waste that it became a solid soup and started to rot. The thing that happened had to smack the planet with a number of enormous meteors to wipe the sludge out.

It took a few more million years to have a new life start itself and many more to reach the status found today. Just two and half days before it ends. Shit happens was a common phrase on Earth. The method of destroying the planet this time would be a more drastic, top shelf, very loud and very visual affair. Designed to frighten the other planets heading in a similar self-destructive direction. They sat well out of view and remained secret to all others, all except to the controlling Body that ran things in this Galaxy.

The Body that hired the thing that happened sent it about when called upon. The powers granted were easily taken away should they need to be. This time though, in knowing the planned method of destruction they gave the thing that happened a great deal more.

The thing that happened existed in a quiet corner of the Galaxy and kept itself to itself. This was probably because it was the only thing on the Moon on which it lived. It didn’t eat, breathe, procreate, seek joy or entertainment. Neither did it offer any waste and had no needs other than to do what the Body asked of it. It sat, being fat and waiting. It was about the size of a fat Labrador dog and smiled just like one. When it was seen by a human it turned very quickly into whatever inanimate object was closest and allowed for disguise.

Very much like a cuttlefish, octopus or even a chameleon. If required it could attack and consume the threat by absorbing the thing in seconds. On this rare occasion, it did create waste and it took days for the mass of liquid to ooze out from pores on it’s back. It stank like you’d expect it to. This rarity aside it moved about unseen, unthreatened and able to ready the end.

The end

It would see the Sun sending out the largest solar flare possible without actually exploding. The lights would go out, it would get very cold, then very hot, then nothing. It would scar the landscape and wipe everything out before it. It would boil the seas and rivers like an over-boiled kettle. Just like a knife scouring through flesh, it would kill everything on the planet, burn the top layers and leave a fresh new surface. The whole solar system would rearrange itself in explosions worthy of frightening others in the Galaxy.

In fact, it would set off the creation of new planets and moons on which new life may start. This was always an intention of the Body, if destroyed, do so in a way that might trigger some new. Humans out and who knows what in. The thing that happened slid into his matter transfer lagoon structure and was gone. He’d set the timer and then – the end.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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