A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

Life of crime or modelling

Reading Time: 2 minutesI’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax. Psycho killer me that’s all. I’ve two very keen fellas doing work at the house of tbaoo, at the same time. One creating, one destroying. fences, gates and stumps, the order of the day. Will it be a life of crime or modelling?

My old puppy bingo, is most concerned with all the visitors and the excruciating noise they’re making. The stump grinder is a noise to behold. The tree lopper man and his mulcher made more, but he was a couple of days ago and bingo has relaxed since then.

When it’s all over I’ll have a new fence-gate set up, no tree roots eating my house and then I’ll be able to get the place back to normal. The mulch left by the lopper has been mad handled by me onto the back garden bed. This transfer nearly killed me, damn it was an effort.

The cash flow at the house of tbaoo is taking a real battering, so much money going out and not too much coming in. So i’ve decided I’m going to try my hand at a life of crime. I’ll decide on what sort when i evaluate the penalties for the range of high paying criminal activity that’s open to me. At my age it might have to be white collar crime, I can’t run.

I’ll have to be clever and coordinate a system to fleece some “well to dos” of their hard earned cash. Nothing to grim, just grim enough to make some money.

I could try male modelling even though it’s not a crime, it would be a fraud for sure. It may provide me with some financial gain. Enough maybe to pay for all this handyman work that’s going on around here.

So if you see a good looking, aged buffoon with a smooth pot belly modelling some groovy new mens fashion, it could be me. Buy the product and help me to pay for all this noisy work.

I thank you, my bride thanks you and bingo my old puppy thanks you.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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Matt Harvath
Matt Harvath
16/08/2012 07:51

Great Writing, as usual! I would personally choose crime. Modeling is just too weird for guys. Me running around in my undies is not going to make me any $$$. It would probably make some people sick!

Michael Davis
Michael Davis
15/08/2012 01:55

Ooh one of ma favorite! Thanks a lot for sharing.

Mary Hudak-Colllins
14/08/2012 00:10

Oh Tbaoo…you are crazy LOL. Crime is not all what it is cracked up to be…I’m hoping that you will choose other avenues of income…modelling? Hey, why not? You never know. You just have to have the look that someone is looking for at that very moment. You may surprise yourself ☺ I’m in your corner!

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