I am an idiot with some dad jokes

Well, dear reader, today I’ve been banging away on my lovely iMac, learning how to use my newly installed lion system and discovering that I don’t know what I’m doing. This tremendously alarming detail might not come as much of a surprise to those I work with in my secret day job, but alas, it comes as a shock to me today. I am an optimistic idiot with some dad jokes.

The reason for this realisation, is that I have some homework to do and I don’t have the slightest idea as to what it is I’m supposed to do. I looked at the word documents at work, readied myself, thought I knew, but today of course I’m scratching my bits trying to figure it out.

So what have I done, well what I normally do, make shit up, skirt around the problem and come up with an answer that may be correct, or most likely reveal that I have no idea. So here are some gags.

• What do you call a deer with no eyes – no eye deer
• What do you call the same deer, but with no legs – still no eye deer
• What do you call the same deer, with no legs, no eyes, whilst missing out on mating with his life partner – still no fucking eye deer

Oops, I got distracted there, that happens when I do homework, I get distracted, in fact me doing this post is a distraction from the task at hand. I have three (3) pages of nonsense that’ll either get a giggle at work, claims of sheer genius or complete ridicule, well I’ll just have to wait and see. More gags

• What do you call a man with no arms and no legs nailed to a wall? – Art
• What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? – Bob
• What do you call a woman with no arms and one leg? – Eileen
• What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs propped up against a wall? – Noleen
• What do you call a Japanese woman with no arms and no legs, up against a wall? – Irene

Sorry to you if you are: a woman or man with no arms or legs, a deer or Japanese.