A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

No smoking no fun

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I gave up smoking September 2009. When I say gave up I mean like alcoholics I am currently not smoking. The choice to smoke of course used to be one’s own, but now it’s a matter of conforming to a very strict range of laws. Now if I was to be frank, I could talk about my role in enforcing these laws, but of course I need to keep that fiction away from this accurate portrayal of a life, even if it is a tbaoo life. Now it’s no smoking no fun.

I need to make one thing very clear, I believe and know that smoking is bad for me, those around me and if I were pregnant, those about to arrive. Having said that I used to love smoking, that first one with a coffee straight out of bed, the quick one if I had to respond to a bus load of burglars at my door, the second one with another coffee prior to leaving home and etc. The best were after meals and with drinks – lot’s of drinks i.e. lot’s of cigarettes.

So what has happened to make me sprout this outpouring of fog towards the world, the thought that I might go back to them, return to my life long habit, acts of socialised interaction, crutch and the psychical addiction manifestation. I will of course smell like an old full ashtray again. I started smoking at aged 11 part time sure, they cost a fortune to a young bugger, I worked at a local news agent and I have to admit that they used to help me with my habit, intentionally through wages and other ways I’m ashamed to admit.

Any-who, my habit developed quickly, even my mother and the orthodontist used to smoke in his office while discussing my teeth, he’d then give his hands a quick rinse, gloves on, then into my mouth. The banks used to have ashtrays on the counter and I used to stand there with a fag on, with the other customers and staff , all fagging away whilst conducting our business. Walking through shopping centres, in and out of stores, every body seemed to smoke, don’t know how people who didn’t smoke got on, they never seemed to complain – not to me anyhow. Maybe they are now getting their own back, it only took 40 years.

The laws here in qld are quite strict – and I mean strict – here is a Qld Health site which outlines the issues and the law.

Now why am I thinking of going back, it’s just the silly idea that when I smoked, things were better, they weren’t of course, but all smokers think this, I think. Everyone around me is saying no Alan don’t – Alan don’t – so unless something like the end of the world happens I’ll try and stay off the fags. When the world is coming to an end, I’ll be the one smelling like an ashtray and smoking my head off, before it gets blown off.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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17/07/2010 23:57

I love this post. I am "fagging away" at the moment, wishing I could stop. Good for you that you did.


18/07/2010 00:12
Reply to  Zach

hanks zac – i’m wishing i can remain so – cheers

15/07/2010 11:02


I'm right there with ya, quitting smoking is the hardest thing I think I have ever done. No day goes by I don't think about wanting one. Yet I can still remember how crappy they taste for the first day or so after not having smoked for a while.

It's a wild mind yank trying to stay off the stupid things…no doubt! Hang in there!

Smoke free since 10/11/2009

Jewell =)

18/07/2010 00:11
Reply to  CntryJewell

thanks cntryjewell, i think i'll go shopping and not lose my money down the slidey black rubber thingy – cheers

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