A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

tbaoo is no handyman but is angry

Reading Time: 2 minutesOK .. I’m the first to admit that I’m a freak’n dunce as far as home handyman shit. Not just complicated tiling, concreting things or even bang’n two bits of wood together, I am so shit crazed, mad as blazes at my attempt to put a mother fucking television entertainment unit together. Yes, tbaoo is no handyman but is angry.

Here is the email I concocted this morning and sent to these responsible for the ridiculous drama the construction of this unit has caused, I have my bride at the ready for such occasions, to temper my unrealistic and overly optimistic attempts to put this mud flapping rubbish together. She of course was ( as always ) very helpful but in the end the “dripluating piece of shit” had to be butchered so that it could go together.

Well here is the rant, the well calmed outrage.

Hello there, May I present some feedback, in fact this is the second time i’ve attempted to, the completed contact form once sent, offers an error and suggests I send an email to this address.

Contact form found at www.everettw.com – Australia

So my less than satisfied feedback is:

I purchased an EN220 or is it AEN2200G1 entertainment stand. The first step mounting block on the left side was glued upside down which meant I had to nearly ruin the backing board hole to get it to fit. It took some time, doubt and no end of frustration, as has this feedback process.

I’d ensure that if you have flat pack goods, make sure they are built correctly.

A less than satisfied and certainly not a referring customer.

Of course this makes me feel better, less boringly angry than I was when I tried to bang this crap together. I’ll feel very much better when I get our new HD TV Samsung and 5.1 sound system to sit on this tarnished furniture offering, I hope it holds up.

I didn’t buy it from Harvey Norman – but that’s another story, I won’t buy anything from that holding stall for rude as buggery salespeople. Want to guess why your sales are dropping Gerry ? it’s the competitive nature of the internet ( read your lack of competitiveness ) and the idiot sales people engaged by your outlets.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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26/09/2011 12:16

oh buggers… maybe I’ll hold up a while on replacing mine…. well even thou it was a biatch to put together it looks nice.

26/09/2011 17:23
Reply to  debbie

if it had been put together properly at the factory it would have been ok .. the frustration arose when finding that it wasn’t .. good luck debbie when you do replace yours 🙂

21/08/2011 13:01

Horrible things they are. At 54 I have to have my mother help, then she puts the back on backwards argh!!!

21/08/2011 14:06
Reply to  Jan

you can’t argue with your mum or the help .. 😉

20/08/2011 20:05

Evil truly evil things they are, all flat packed furniture. Instructions you cannot read yet alone understand a curse of a hundred baldies on them all.

21/08/2011 07:34
Reply to  baldychaz

yes that’s excellent “a curse of a hundred baldies” .. cheers charles 😉

20/08/2011 17:47

Mine is a Samsung too 3D thingy TV. And bugger me if I always have an extra screw after building something. Scratch that! When the missus builds something.


20/08/2011 18:14
Reply to  Alejandro

sorry mr ajg, misses, extra screw .. ? btw .. a guzman mexican restaurant is opening on the gold coast very soon 🙂

20/08/2011 19:45
Reply to  tbaoo

i ain’t no Mexican but enjoy the food.. 🙂 and the extra screw was innocent LOL oops or was it?

Jessica Brant
20/08/2011 17:45


Next time I go shopping I am taking you with me : )

Down doggy!


20/08/2011 18:13
Reply to  Jessica Brant

when i finally get to nyc i’m going to take you up on that offer .. 🙂

20/08/2011 17:42


Well holy SNAPPPPPP. I take it you just a bit pissed off???

I like this new side of Alan. I think I will keep a set of building blocks near by with a hammer and a nail just too piss you the fuck off…


Blognostis (jessica)

20/08/2011 18:11
Reply to  BlogNostics

excellent .. i’ll play with those as well 🙂

20/08/2011 14:28

If it does not come fully assembled, someone other than myself or my husband ASSembles it we. are. not. getting. it! W

We are not so cordial to one another because that shit will make our heads explode!

I am convinced that some yo yo designing this stuff sits somewhere with pencil and pad thinking of ways to eff with people…I have yet to meet an adult that has successfully put together a TV stand ~it. ain’t. happening…I remember the first time I ever tried my luck at it — I was so close to taking a ball-bat to it when my much younger (13 yo) sister intervened and put it together for me. I hope it all works out for ya!

20/08/2011 15:24
Reply to  Amy

yes i think there is some serious giggling at the factory in china, or the sales office at the expense of those tasked with putting their rubbish together .. bat and ball nearly got a run at my house as well – big cheers amy

09/04/2019 23:47

sorry mr ajg, misses, extra screw .. ? btw .. a guzman mexican restaurant is opening on the gold coast very soon 🙂

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