A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

Today is all about results

Reading Time: 2 minutesThe pressure has been firmly placed upon my bolder than bold backside. Come up with something relevant, entertaining and somewhat exciting enough to have you dear reader in sheer rapture, possessed with a desire to read more and loiter around here at tbaoo. I loiter here all the time but sadly I can’t click on any google ads or pump up my blogging income in any way. I can provide some shit for you to read though, I can provide some odd videos, some really groovy music and some near adult humour and hope that you return. So today is all about results.

I now know

Now that i’ve understood the principle and the path I have decided upon, comes the task of going to the principal’s office, hold out your hand Alan and accept 6 of the best, hand or bum. Of course it depended on whether you attended a state high school or a religious indoctrination centre.

Today in Australia is the release of the higher school certificate ( HSC ) results. Students in my day had to wait for the mailman and endure the excruciating pain of looking out the freak’n window every 30 seconds. Some young types actually used to camp out at the front gate waiting for the dramatic results. I didn’t have to do this – I left school the year before. I couldn’t continue (my mind and body was exploding) so I went out into the world and got myself a job so I could leave school immediately. Those that stayed the course and did the course got results of course.

Typing online

Today in the world of keyboards and something called the internet, these acne riddled, adolescent students simply log in and scream in pain or pleasure as their 6 years of high school efforts are revealed. Good luck no matter what score you got, or even if like me you didn’t last to the 6th year, life will present many opportunities and this HSC score is not the be all and end all.

Just look at me, failed careers, dead end jobs, frustration, lack of a real income, insecurity and a lazy “she’ll be right” attitude. Enough to suggest I should have stayed at school, maybe? but the other side of those disturbing personal traits is the wild ride i’ve had along the way. Far too wild to describe in detail here, no matter how much adult content I consider posting.

I did finally knuckle down and applied to attend university 30 years after leaving high school. I did 3 years purgatory, ensconced in a full time science degree and have today started my 7th year in my chosen and excitingly secret (and poorly paid) career.

So the moral of the story, (this might be a new feature at tbaoo, moral lifestyle advice from a pickled, fat, lazy old bugger) is that no matter what happens to you when you’re young, you should have a couple of years to make amends and decide on your true path.

Distracted, bitter, failed, drug addled, flatulent high school teachers and the inadequate system they work within aren’t going to determine that path. so there you are – off you go.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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19/12/2011 02:39

Except for having lots of fun, High School was a total waste of time.

19/12/2011 08:50
Reply to  Hansi

cheers hansi .. although we turned out alright didn’t we ?

16/12/2011 11:40

Talk about smart advertising at it’s finest! You mention university, I’m Canadian, and what pops up on your blog but an ad for Canada’s Dalhousie University! And you know what? After reading your post, I’m thinking I might just need to click on that ad and find my own secretive, poorly paying career. Or not.

17/12/2011 15:44
Reply to  Kara

tremendous synergy .. i’d recommend clicking on that ad (and others on tbaoo) most frequently 🙂 cheers kara

Dad Blog Tork
14/12/2011 19:51

I made it all the way through schooling.. did I learn anything though?


hehehe 🙂

14/12/2011 19:56
Reply to  Dad Blog Tork

what we learned, is how not to learn .. 😉

14/12/2011 19:33

I agree, I never made it through high school, worked a dead end job that I loved and now am very poor but have time to be with the ones I love and meander around and take pictures. Highschool has nothing to offer half the kids out there,except maybe a chance to explore the world while you skip classes. I am a little bitter…Hahaha

14/12/2011 19:55
Reply to  jan

oops .. i seem to relate and agree with all of that – cheers jan

06/04/2019 20:30

what we learned, is how not to learn .. 😉

14/12/2011 10:40

I think it’s built into the educational system that everyone is supposed to mature when they say so. I don’t think many people get out of it what they should at a young age. But as they say, it’s not where you start but where you finish. Raw, honest post.

14/12/2011 13:45
Reply to  Adriene

cheers adriene .. “youth is wasted on the young” – to quote a famous quote from someone ? i’m not finished yet.

Jessica Brant
14/12/2011 10:21


I totaly agree youth should have the opportunity to figure out what they want to do before they have to do it for the rest of their lives…



14/12/2011 10:33
Reply to  Jessica Brant

cheers jess, it’s a shame that we aren’t aware of that when we are young, maybe parents should take some responsibility .. 😉

06/04/2019 20:30

cheers adriene .. “youth is wasted on the young” – to quote a famous quote from someone ? i’m not finished yet.

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