A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

I Sure have obsessive compulsive disorder

Reading Time: 2 minutesIt’s official, I sure have a rampant case of obsessive compulsive disorder ( OCD ) and even though I look and sometimes sound a bit normal, I’m definitely not. Those who are exposed to my excessive behaviour normally placate me and allow me to run free without restraint. These well meaning but deluded folk probably feel that letting me run like a pony though life will keep me calm, but alas I’m getting worse and I need reigning in. Maybe a swift kick in the ribs as well.

This tremblingly excited need I have for symmetry, alignment, perfection ( even though I hardly ever achieve it ) drives me to a knife edged level of frustration when it doesn’t materialise. You would laugh at how silly it gets sometimes, you should see me trying to be a handyman, even though I strongly resist most of the time, sometimes I weaken and attempt a simple process only to find that I don’t have the temperament, skill, shirts, tools, desire or genetic make up to complete this simple task.

Tantrums erupt, clothes become restrictive, tools fly and so does the colourful language and I don’t mean praising the warmth of the surroundings either. Foul, rude, crude, imaginative, multi syllable, blasphemous, all with a full forced sputum retching engagement from a naughty OCD sufferer.

So what am I going to do? Well, how’s about I relax, leave the handyman shit alone, I’ll get a messy influence, oops – I have one of those in my beloved bride. So I’ll just keep myself under control, leave the friendly folk that support me without restraint to continue to do so and I learn to enjoy the tightening of my disorder as it constricts around my daily life.

Does anyone have the number of a home handyman helpful helper ?

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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Greg
18/02/2012 06:54

Try being OCD and being married to a spouse who is the exact opposite. Grrr! Creates an interesting dynamic. There’s nothing wrong with a little touch of OCD, but how many times can you check to make sure you turned off the curling iron? Come on honey!

Nancy
Nancy
17/02/2012 00:21

I am hoping this can really help a lot of people…Great job here!

Shameka Hennagir
15/02/2012 12:53

Thanks God you are now okay. OCD is a serious one so be careful next time, we love you here. 🙂

Mary Hudak-Colllins
15/02/2012 03:56

OCD…welcome to my life 🙂 But I love it! Without the OCD I probably wouldn’t get anything done 🙂 But really…your post and photos need to be centered lol blahahahah!

debbie
15/02/2012 02:52

Alan, my dear friend your profile message is to much!! or is it too? Hmm anyways… Yeppp you’re normal alright!!

jan
jan
15/02/2012 01:56

Thank goodness you are not normal.

Hansi
15/02/2012 00:58

OCD SchmOCD. You sound just fine to me.

Ron
14/02/2012 22:23

Ha! Is there a support group for us? I can relate all too well.

And by the way…your paragraphs are uneven…it makes the post look top heavy. Do you count the vowels in each paragraph…I do 😉

Baldychaz
14/02/2012 22:22

Don’t sound like OCD to me sir sounds like your a bloke!

Alejandro
14/02/2012 22:09

Oh mate can you center the bottom image please!!!

Who has OCD now????

A

debbie
15/02/2012 02:50
Reply to  Alejandro

LMAO… I remember the day you were asking me if I knew how to center stuff. I knew there was more to it than a causal comment.

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