A little of this and a bit more

Alan Crawford presents twisted short and some longer stories for adults, with quite a number of his rants and observations as well.

Several curious people, really it’s just one, asked me how or where the ideas came from. Thankfully there’s no clear answer. When the trousers, mind, or weather conditions suit such things, the computer opens, a page appears, and it starts to flow. All designed to promote my nonsense, which may be adult in nature but not necessarily mature.

It is election season

Reading Time: 2 minutesI have been sitting here, regular reader will realise I do a lot of this, but today I actually did the back grass. It can’t be called lawns, it’s crap. Any-who, I come inside needing a strong sit down and what do I see, the media salivating over the journey taken from Julia G’s house. After all it is election season.

The enormously secure, well paid and media savvy cavalcade left the Melbourne home of our PM and followed her to the airport, then grabbed her again ( different people I suspect ) as the plane landed, I didn’t see what they showed whilst the plane was flying. The car sped off to the Governor General‘s house, quaint remains as quaint does, then while I was making myself look, smell and appear better looking, bingo a press conference had been arranged, conducted and was being dissected. This information overload was equalised by the fighting big eared ant, Mr Abbott.

Shit it’s exciting, the Sky News network, while shoring up loyal followers prior the national broadcaster coming on-stream with it’s 24 hour news channel, is franticly broadcasting riveting – bland retrospective bile, on at least 4 channels through this tightly fought, too early too call, unable to speculate at this time, freak’n election.

Poor old Mr Sheen ( Keven Rudd deposed PM ) , very accurate but cruel, accuracy is always cruel, try looking in the mirror. Our very short lived PM must be wetting his breakfast Jim Jams ( pyjamas ) at the very thought of this campaign.

In preparation for the onslaught that is an Australian federal election, I have looked to Stephen Hawking, as Homer Simpson ( a hero of mine ) says that wheel chair guy, and in doing so I have just about mastered the following mind numbingly hugest thing – the Universe is really big, that’s a line from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I will devote a lot more major space to this body of work again. Well, here goes.

If I’m heading to earth from a really long way away and I mean the furtherest away, I would travel through, from my Universe home, through a bunch of galaxies and then into our solar system,

I won’t be able to list the number of galaxies, black holes, dark matter type stuff (I threw that in because i’m getting cocky) and then how many stars in the solar systems or how many of those there are, until I arrive in need of a sit down and a wee.

It’s after this strenuous activity that I’ll be wanting to anally probe some hillbilly called Billy Bob in a field in Louisiana and then return back to my home, with all the vital information required from earth, that this probe will provide me.

Shit – what a load of crap.

While I’m waiting to secure the affiliate program with Apple here in Australia, yes I have asked, i’m going to publicise, shout, boast and dare to inform you the reader, as to what i’m listening to on iTunes while writing these literary masterpieces, the film insults wasn’t so literary I grant you, see previous posts, or actually the Guinness book of records bikini competition wasn’t either.

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I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024

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