Reading Time: < 1 minuteMy New Year resolutions, no matter what year:
- Don’t make promises I can’t keep
- Remember to be nice to fools – they can’t help it
- Remember to be nice to zealots – even though they can’t be
- Always clean up after myself
- Do not clean up after others
- Don’t get angry
- Don’t get even
- Be relaxed
- Find what it is that actually relaxes me
- Get a hobby
- Lose weight
- Eat properly
- Do some fucking exercise
- Laugh at my own stupid sense of humour
- Understand that next to no-one else finds it funny
- Save some money
- Stop spending money like a millionaire, or water
- Accept the lists aren’t the best way to communicate
- Don’t take things so seriously, others don’t
- Don’t sweat the small detail ( this one could also be for my bride )
- Slow down on the excessive personal grooming
- Don’t sweat over the complete lack of personal grooming in others
- Understand that being a racist, homophobic slob guts might be the norm
- Find out what unaustralian ( insert your country here ) actually means
- Discover the meaning of life
- Accept the decision of the American people
- Re-evaluate my investment portfolio based on that decision
- Join in when asked
- Remove myself when asked
- Don’t do everything everyone asks me to do
- Don’t laugh at the misfortune or beliefs of others, even if they are the same thing.
- Don’t be alarmed when a doctor sections me after reading this list
I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024
This post may seem unAustralian to some, but not to me, since I’m not sure what the term means and would surely disagree if it were explained to me. Making 32 resolutions, some of them clearly incompatible with one another, is a bold maneuver. The odds of keeping at least one are high, Tbaoo.
yes i’ve managed a few, un-australian is the most annoying phrase used in all sorts of stupid arguments – it doesn’t make any sense at all – 😉 oh and contradiction is one of my middle names.
I love what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys I’ve you guys to my blogroll.
thank you elinor .. welcome 😉
Haha. Nice list! 🙂
cheers rachel, all the best for you and your pal pokey . 😉
Hi…I am really looking forward to share this post you have here…
so am i stephy .. 😉
Great aspirations there sir. I hope that you can adhere to them…I myself have concluded that I am much better off to not set these type of resolutions for myself. Simply because I know I will be disappointed at the end of the year…once again.
I have set a goal of keeping my heart pumping no matter what it takes,that is really all I can commit too!
Good Luck! LOL Have a wonderful New Year.
thanks jan and the very best back to you .. keep that heart pumping .. 🙂
Excellent post, but I also believe that without perseverance we could never do anything. Perseverance plays a major role in success.
This value of never giving up and fight for what we want.
Thanks for sharing, Greetings!
La perseverancia como valor
cheers eduardo .. we can only try 🙂 i will
I especially like # 13, but can’t imagine what type of exercise would improve one’s fucking 🙂
Happy New Year
also well spotted hansi .. 🙂
I like how you used the 2012 logo from the disaster film 😛 if the doomsday prediction is right then your new year resolutions seem a little bit pointless hehe. I lol’d at number 25… could be a bit difficult that one. good list though.
the end might reveal the meaning .. well spotted tom, cheers .. 🙂
I’ve been working on #13 for years now. 😀
I’ve also been threatening #13, sadly far too many years 😉
Wow! This is great for a new year’s resolution. Thank you for reminding me Tbaoo… I have to make my own list! Happy Holidays…
good luck diana .. i thought i’d post my list early, so others may become enthused .. 😉
Great resolutions!
“discover the meaning of life in 2012″…when you discover it, let me in on it too! 🙂
i will jessica .. it’s going to be discovered in march 😉
I love it , great points 🙂
thanks anna .. it will be hard to adhere to, but i’ll try 🙂