Reading Time: 2 minutesI’ve been banging on here for some time now and I’ve decided that I like it. I had a few days away for reasons that shall remain unpublished but suffice to say life has an amazing way of bringing us all crashing down to reality, tbaoo normally takes me away from that realm. I recently had the nerve and need to ask a property valuer, what is my home worth?
So much here is a response to silly, annoying, politically stupid, ridiculous opinions and just plain weird shit, combined with great tunes and alarming videos. You’ll notice dear regular reader that when things get a bit maudlin here at tbaoo, retrospective and introspective thoughts just wash out. But a local shithead has really wound my wire.
I had the sheer displeasure of engaging a property valuer, the strangest, rectum sphincter tightened weirdo who somehow instilled guilt and a requirement for my bride and I to apologise to him for daring to own a property that didn’t meet his needs.
We thought when he’d left that this “crapopulous wanker” was the same fellow that had valued our home some 10 years before. He even looked very much like the regularly drunk fuck-knuckle property valuer that I’d taken home many a time on a local club’s courtesy bus, you can read about that wonderful observation of life in “A tale in Lincoln Point”
The outcome of that valuation back then and for no apparent reason, this clown made some bizarre comments in the report for the bank’s insurers. He moaned on about our property’s location near a petrol station and the easement running through our property, that severely threatened our ability to refinance. He warned of impending doom, property destruction and violent explosions.
These ridiculous, and as it turned out completely unqualified comments, caused a very angry me to raise all hell at the mortgage insurance office, the valuer’s office and the so called valuer’s association office. The association, a limp bunch of time wasting buffoons, basically stated that the valuer could say anything they want, without any consequences, to them or the valuer anyway. I didn’t like that then and so now I await the report from our recent valuations.
Even though this man was hired by us, he made us feel uncomfortable in our own home and as I’ve indicated, almost ashamed of our home, the land it sits on and it’s position in the neighbourhood. This idiot even asked what the easement was and what lay behind our block of land. Great research there Freddy, Google maps or just some basic property valuation research would have provided that information prior to arriving. Well fuck him and the ship he sailed in on. I’m working myself up to react boldly and the company will feel the wrath of a well pissed off homeowner.
I'm an increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short and slightly longer stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024
Sounds dreadful and grounds for a lawsuit… Hope you are able to sort it all out. What recourse do you have? Of the legal kind Alan … please I know what you’d like to do. 🙂
Eliz
cheers elizof .. i’m just preparing myself for the report .. kind of getting angry too soon i know, but hey – i’ve had practice .. 🙂
So basically this guy’s job description includes making people feel like shit about their homes. Where does one apply for this position?
send me your application and i’ll pass it along thanks grumpy ..:)
Interesting post. I would tend to be in the “fuck him” camp.
hansi i’m with you .. 🙂
Dealing with Real Estate is a nightmare and a lot of headaches! You may rant until you feel better, we understand!
a nightmare i’m exposed to – too often . thanks nelleta 🙂
The joy of people, jumped up jobsworth little shits! my job involves me visiting people in their own home and i show nothing but respect because its their home! Also because i work in the NHS everyone pays my wages (even me i guess). Deep breathing and further ranting should help.
great advice, deep breathing and ranting .. 🙂
In the UK all matters to do with buying and selling houses is done through Estate Agents. Here is an appropriate quote from UK comedian Stephen Fry: “Estate agents. You can’t live with them, you can’t live with them. The first sign of these nasty purulent sores appeared round about 1894. With their jangling keys, nasty suits, revolting beards, moustaches and tinted spectacles, estate agents roam the land causing perturbation and despair. If you try and kill them, you’re put in prison: if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There’s only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed. Estate agents. Love them or loathe them, you’d be mad not to loathe them.”
wow .. i have stephen fry on my blog roll, i love his work in all things and laughed at your quote. thanks for the pleasant distraction .. 🙂 – cheers larry
First time visit here.
Having a good old rant is good for us. I love your turn of phrase and comedic cynicism. Expressing anger in the way you have shows some authenticity to what has happened. Methinks I’ll come back here again to read more.
thank you marty .. i appreciate your feedback and return visits .. cheers alan
Hoooooo boy! I can totally relate to this post! Anything real estate related that I am involved in generally requires that loads of alcohol and the removal of any heavy or sharp objects that I can get my hands on. (( Tbaoo )) Hope you and your lovely, brilliant bride get this worked out!!
thanks jewell .. one way or another, and i agree with you about the real ( unreal ) estate problems 🙂
Just don’t drive angry! “crapopulous wanker” Brilliant!
A
no worries about driving mad, but i’ll drive them mad … !!!
You are really sounding like a bear with a sore head Alan! I shall hold my tongue now…..hehehe ooppss! (I’m not laughing) 😉
yes jorie .. i’m getting ready to be an angry bear .. 😉
Hoooooo boy! I can totally relate to this post! Anything real estate related that I am involved in generally requires that loads of alcohol and the removal of any heavy or sharp objects that I can get my hands on. (( Tbaoo )) Hope you and your lovely, brilliant bride get this worked out!!
thanks jewell .. one way or another, and i agree with you about the real ( unreal ) estate problems 🙂