While scooting about I discovered that when people sought review, they’d been told to have a what about me page. Well, what is it about me, that would make you want to know what about me? Not much really, so here’s my what about me page.
I was born in a mild, caring, newly air-conditioned room at St Leonards – in the Royal North Shore Hospital. I was brought home to a small unit with my newly burped face and bum. I was born a boy and remain so to this day. Many years later I left school under a cloud of drama and exasperation and started work. It was very smelly being an apprentice butcher and I’ve been lucky to enjoy a number of careers since, sales, music, driving, media, talking, listening and yelling, all sorts of things.
I was drawn to blogging after having both legs removed after an unfortunate skydiving accident. Not only didn’t the chutes open, I bounced for two miles down a lonely country road and ended up lodged into a wasp nest up in a tree. The bites actually brought me back to life and to this day I pay homage to those little bitty things. My legs have been replaced and aside from the odd squeak, I get about fine.
A few years later my right ear was slashed away from my gorgeous head as I tried to defend a young lady at a local shopping centre. As fate would have it, an apprentice butcher had decided he was going to attack his ex-girlfriend. I had to dive in and interfere and for my troubles, he slashed away at my ears. Off they came, one at a time, he got the other one when I turned away (I managed to find one and it was reattached). He laughed something about turning the other cheek, but I couldn’t hear him at the time. I still can’t. I have a hearing aid but she only works Monday to Friday. Doesn’t care – what about me?
She charges too much to work on weekends, so if you are really observant, you may have noticed that I type a lot more when she’s not around, distracting me with all those unnecessary sounds. With all these difficulties, I’ve still managed to grow up, not enough many would say. I was selected as a candidate for a grumpy old man pin-up in a seniors Australia calendar, I didn’t win but dated the calendar producer for a while. So then, after that rather tense relationship break up I started tbaoo. It was a random load of silly nonsense, photos and music. It morphed into this website Alan Crawford. There you go, that’s what about me, Alan Crawford. Now what about you?
An increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024
