Reading Time: 2 minutesWell, dear reader, today I’ve been banging away on my lovely iMac, learning how to use my newly installed lion system and discovering that I don’t know what I’m doing. This tremendously alarming detail might not come as much of a surprise to those I work with in my secret day job, but alas, it comes as a shock to me today. I am an optimistic idiot with some dad jokes.
The reason for this realisation, is that I have some homework to do and I don’t have the slightest idea as to what it is I’m supposed to do. I looked at the word documents at work, readied myself, thought I knew, but today of course I’m scratching my bits trying to figure it out.
So what have I done, well what I normally do, make shit up, skirt around the problem and come up with an answer that may be correct, or most likely reveal that I have no idea. So here are some gags.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes – no eye deer
- What do you call the same deer, but with no legs – still no eye deer
- What do you call the same deer, with no legs, no eyes, whilst missing out on mating with his life partner – still no fucking eye deer
Oops, I got distracted there, that happens when I do homework, I get distracted, in fact me doing this post is a distraction from the task at hand. I have three (3) pages of nonsense that’ll either get a giggle at work, claims of sheer genius or complete ridicule, well I’ll just have to wait and see. More gags
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs nailed to a wall? – Art
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? – Bob
- What do you call a woman with no arms and one leg? – Eileen
- What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs propped up against a wall? – Noleen
- What do you call a Japanese woman with no arms and no legs, up against a wall? – Irene
Sorry to you if you are: a woman or man with no arms or legs, a deer or Japanese.
An increasingly grumpy old fart posting rants, observations and trying to write somewhat twisted short stories for adults. All rights reserved unless otherwise credited © Alan Crawford - 2024
I just love your blog!!
cheers zach, and i think as well – welcome aboard .. 😉
Funny stuff.:)
thanks jan .. 🙂
so what have i done, well what i normally do, make shit up, skirt around the problem and come up with an answer that may be correct, – love it!!
It reminds me of a time with my old boss, (we were close) one day he handed me a stack of contracts told me to combine various parts of each contract to make a new one.
I must have given him a “clueless look” because he looked up from this monitor, and said “hell deb, if you don’t understand just tip toe around it, make it work and if you are still clueless, just fake it”
I about died laughing even with him and I being close friends I still had that level of assistant /boss respect, it seemed odd hearing your boss say something like that. After that I finally picked up on his “faking it and tip toeing around things”
fantastic advice .. thanks debbie, it’s a great way to look at the problem .. 😉
Hehehe! You’re very kind to share your distraction with us…so we can share the smiles! Thanks 🙂
sharing is my middle name, well only one of them, the other is fool .. 😉
Thanks for the chuckle! Have a GREAT weekend 😉
thanks linda – are you on twitter yet ? -;)
I call a deer with no legs and no eyes ‘dinner’
oh goodness .. hope you don’t call it late 😉
“noleen”…oh my!
I am laughing out loud! thanks for the laugh 🙂
cheers amy .. 🙂
Wow.
Good luck with that at work.
thanks adriene .. luck is what i need and more often than not, thrive on .. 😉
Scratching your bits, inspirational 😉
i’m only a humble servant charles .. off you go now and scratch yours ..:)
Deer me! I’m going to get legless methinks.. hehe
Cheers A
it’s a description that could stick .. cheers mr ajg 😉
Alan,
You have me cracking up….
thank you for the laugh…..
I needed it… much like I need to get laid….
but that’s for another day…
xoxox
Jessica
very much a pleasure jessica, hopefully the same 10 fold when you get what you need ..;)